Laying Them Down

I have recently been thinking about what it really means to lay down my desires. I have so many dreams and ambitions and most of the time (as many of you should know), many of those dreams and ambitions never really come to pass. I'm not complaining. I'm merely expressing my observations thus far in life. You may be wondering what got me thinking about this. Well.... The last few weeks have been filled with crazy things that just have to get done and everything seems to be on a time schedule. Ummmm...like taxes, and deciding about our lease and whether we want to stay here for another year or move. Like the decision on whether I should go on a month long business trip with my hubby. Doesn't it seem like our lives are full of important decisions? Isn't it hard when it seems like a thousand of those decisions descend upon your shoulders at the same time? Not only do you have to make a choice, you have to deal with the nagging thought of, "what if I had chosen the other option? Would things be better if I had?" We've had to make decisions and stick with them and sometimes it is hard. I really wanted to move from our apartment so that we could rent a house with a back yard for gardening and for my dog to be able to get out and run around. I wanted to be able to go with my hubby on this trip, but hasn't been able to work out that way. I wanted to have our taxes done and taken care of way before now, but it looks like we may end up needing to file for an extension. Well...things aren't really going my way are they? Nope. But how much does that really matter in the light of eternity? Last night I had to ask myself that question. I was crying. I was tired, and I knew that things were not going my way. I was upset about everything and how 'all' my plans were being shattered. The Lord spoke to my heart and I was able to examine my attitude. I knew I had two options: Keep crying and feeling bad for myself and maybe obtain a small amount of "feel-good-poor-me", a headache and swollen eyes, or I could stop and think about things and lay everything at the feet of Jesus. By His grace, I chose the later. God continued to speak to me as I shed tears of repentance and gratefulness. I thought about all my hearts desires and took each of them and laid them down saying, "Lord, You know the desires of my heart and you know what Your plans are. You alone can make me content. I want to lay these things down and make them something beautiful at your feet. If I don't let go and lay them down they will never sprout into something beautiful and living. Lord, do whatever you will with these dreams. Refine my heart and make my plans Your plans." It felt really good to let go. It was freeing, a lot more freeing that having a tearful pity party! I pray that the Lord would continue to allow me to lay down my wants and desires, to be able to sacrifice them at His feet. He is so good y'all, and He cares so much. Don't ever think that He isn't watching or caring about what you are going through. He loves you enough to give His Son for you! Blessings, Rachel H. P.S. Excuse the crummy format! I've tried to fix it, and it will not work....Well...remember what I said about plans?